No Spoon For You!

Since becoming a mom, especially a mom of 2, there are a few things that I have learned. One of them is: no matter how you may think your day will go, rest assured there will be some surprises in store for you. When I woke up this morning, trying to be patient and kind until at least the coffee kicked in, I had no idea all the fun adventures my morning would provide.

I decided pretty much from the moment that my feet hit the floor, that I was going to be productive this morning; not my usual – hang out in my jammys, drink coffee, watch the Today show while keeping the kiddos entertained, mostly by snacks. Today we were going to accomplish things! Within 30 minutes of wake up time we were in the car on the way to the grocery store.

Not too many people in the grocery store at 8am on a rainy Monday morning. One old lady stopped by my cart to comment on the cute kids and touched lily’s toes and made a grimace at me letting me know that her feet were cold. Oops, forgot Lily’s socks. Another lady let me know that Isaac was either using the floor as a garbage can for his fruit snacks wrapper or else he was trying to throw it at her. “Thanks…I won’t let it happen again.”

By the time we hit the checkout lane: Lily had successfully eaten or slobbered-until- disintegration a book of starbucks coupons, our bag of grapes was now half grapes, half stem, and there was a trail of fruit snacks, grapes, and other odds and ends throughout the grocery store marking our steps.

Now it was POURING OUTSIDE! Sheets of rain were coming down. Perfect timing. Another little old lady came by and said as she grabbed a plastic grocery bag for her head, “I hope you aren’t taking those babies out in this rain.” So, we sat outside under the roof of the grocery store and had more fruit snacks until the rain let up.

As we got to the car, I looked up and realized that all the windows were half open. I didn’t leave them this way. While we were in line checking out, Isaac was playing with my keys. There is some kind of function on my remote door opener that can open the windows. I don’t even know how to do it, but I guess Isaac ended up pressing the right combination to open up all the windows on the car during a torrential downpour. Perfect.

Our mornings errands were not yet through. We could make it two more stops right? Next was Office Depot. In and out, no big catastrophes. As I am backing out of my spot, another old lady (I guess there must be a lot of old ladies out and about on rainy Monday mornings in Wheaton) comes out of nowhere and is honking her horn and flicking me off. Not kidding. I still don’t even know why. I definitely looked before I pulled out and she wasn’t there. On a side note – I think that there should be a no honking or flicking off minivans law. I mean…we are trying our best here. Sometimes as we are reaching back trying to throw more fruit snacks at our screaming kids we might miss the green light at the exact moment it turns green…cut us some slack.

Last stop, Barnes and Nobel. I thought I could get through this if I let Isaac push Lily’s stroller in the store. That way he would have something fun to do other than pull all the books off of the shelves. It was a mostly fool proof plan. Things went array when Isaac got frustrated that he could not navigate one of the corners and went full speed ahead into a pile of books, knocking them all over and sending Lily into hysterics. As I looked over, I saw the look in his eyes, it was definitely the “I’m pooping right now” look. Pretty unmistakable. I didn’t bring any extra diapers for him with me, so it would have to wait until we got home.

At the checkout Lily started to lose it. I had pushed her too far and she was screaming her head off. Both tired and hungry she wanted to be home NOW!

Whole car ride home, screaming screaming screaming. Bring her inside. Still screaming. Set her down while I try to do a couple tinny things, still screaming. I finally pick her up, and sit down on the couch to start nursing her. The moment I start, Isaac runs over and is pointing to his butt yelling, “POOP…POOP…POOP”. Oh shoot, I forgot about that. “OK, Isaac, as soon as I am done feeding lily I will change you.” Either he doesn’t get it, or he doesn’t care. For the next 10 minutes, nonstop, not kidding, he runs back and forth in front of me yelling “POOP…POOP…POOP” pointing at his bottom. During this whole time the dog, still in his little dog room, is barking like crazy because I didn’t let him out when we got home. This is the moment where I really feel like I am going to lose it. Trying so hard to keep it together.

I finish feeding Lily, change Isaac’s diaper, put away the groceries, do the dishes, let the dog out, make Isaac some lunch, make me some lunch, make Lily some lunch. We are all sitting down to eat lunch. I am feeding Lily with a spoon and for some reason, even though Isaac is eating a sandwhich, he is desperate to have the spoon. He is screaming, “SPOON…SPOON…SPOON.” After hearing him yell spoon over 20 times, I look over and yell…”No Spoon for you!!!!!” I immediately burst out laughing, and I am still laughing writing this. For any of you Seinfeld fans out there, I’m sure you get the joke. One of the more well known episodes was about the “Soup Nazi” and as they would go and try to get soup he would yell, “No Soup For You!!!”.

Life is so funny. There are these moments that you could never even dream up. Moments that are more difficult and trying than you could imagine, but they are also so rich and full of love and warmth and intimacy. When you least expect it, you just find yourself bursting out into laughter while your 2 year old and 7 month old are staring at you wondering what is making you laugh so hard. Just another wonderful day.

Below are a few pics from this weekend.