We have for sure hit a new stride. Not to say that my days are without struggle, but my life looks very different than it did one year ago, and VERY VERY different than it did two years ago. My feelings and my thoughts surrounding Isaac and Lily are overflowing with fun and enjoyment. Every day I just want to bottle up their cute voices, and all the funny things that they say. There is a sweetness and an innocence about them that is almost intoxicating. I am so often straddling the line of tightly grasping each moment and desperately trying to hold onto it in the realization that it is so fleeting and just living in the moment and enjoying it and loosely holding onto these days, weeks, months, and years.
My sister recently told me about a book called something like, "My daughter got swallowed by a princess." It's about a mom of a pre-school aged girl who is confused and perplexed by the ever increasing femininity pouring out of her daughter. Wow...can I relate. It is sweet and beautiful and pure and I don't really know what to do with it. I have no memory of a princess obsession. I have never been especially fond of the color pink. I am now 31 years old and have acquired minimal jewelry, but have never been that excited about it. I have a two-year-old little princess flying all over the house covered in pink polka dots from head to tow. She is enthralled with any kind of jewelry, love to wear high heel princess shoes all over the house, and the other day when I put on my sweater lily remarked, "That looks cute on you mommy." I looked at her dumbfounded. I love that this stage really seems to be a genuine expression of who she is. I love her passion for pink polka dots and clothes and princesses.
A few days ago lily was spinning around the living room. (one reason why I am so glad that I have a little girl - I have yet to see Isaac spinning through the living room). And I look at her and I say, "Lily, you are just so cute. I can't handle it!" Isaac looks over at her and he says, "I can handle it." Then he proceeds to run over and tackle lily to the ground. Then I hear him yell up to me from the floor, "I handled it." Dan and I were quite amused.
This is just such a small picture into the richness of each and every day. These children are such a gift. Such a joy. Such a grace in my life.
One more note. Dan and I have been intrigued by Isaacs spiritual ponderings. He asks some really good questions and seems like he always has this backdrop in his mind for a spiritual understanding to life. He has been especially interested in death and heaven. He asks tons of questions about heaven, and who is going to be there, and what it will be like, etc. He reiterates a lot of things we have told him about heaven or about Jesus on a regular basis. Tonight after dinner I was leaving for the grocery store and he runs to the back door and says, "Mommy, I love you. I love you so much. But, Jesus loves you way more!". This morning as we were rushing out the door to church, my patience was wearing thin. Later I apologized to Isaac for my grumpiness. He said, "I forgive you mommy. You aren't a perfect mommy, but Jesus is a perfect mommy." And then tonight at dinner something happened and I can't remember exactly what it was, but it prompted Isaac to say, "Daddy, you are a bad guy, but Jesus is making you into a good guy. And mommy, you are a bad girl, but Jesus is making you into a good girl." In each of those moments I am just shocked. I didn't think that a three year old could grasp, comprehend, or really care about these things. But Isaac is very engaged, and I am thankful and humbled.
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