Dancing in the rain

It's funny because I am about to post some pictures of the kids dancing in the rain. Not literally dancing in the rain, but dancing on the table inside the house, right next to the windows, where they were watching it raining outside. The funny part is that as I just wrote the title, "dancing in the rain", it made me think about motherhood, or parenthood in general. I think that being a mom is a lot like dancing in the rain. When you are a mom there are always a variety of difficulties to face each and every day. You can assume on any given day that things will not go according to whatever plan you may have in mind. There is a constant barrage of spilled drinks, accidents on the bed, broken toys, fights to break up, "no you cannot eat cookies right now", instructions to give, crumbs everywhere- crumbs on the floor, crumbs on the couch, crumbs all over the car, crumbs in your bed, crumbs in the bathroom, crumbs in my drawers- and the list could go on and on. And so it goes that most days are rainy days of sorts. But it is in the midst of those rainy days that you can either put your head down and dream for a sunshiny day, or you can just dance in the rain. And as I have spent time doing both, I think it is the dancing in the rain that parenthood is all about. It is when things are all askew (both on the outside and on the inside) but we make the decision to dance that parenthood starts to make sense. It is in those moments, when we stop trying to get our house and our life under control, that our children become most precious to us. It is in the dancing that we are set free from all the worry about the rain. It is in the dancing that our children actually encounter us and connect with us and community and fellowship happen within our homes. So here's to spending our days dancing in the rain!

Side note: Tonight I was praying with Isaac before bed. He reminded me to pray for Japan. So I did. He added, "God, I pray for all the kids who lost their toys that you will give them all the same toys that we have. god, I pray for all the kids who lost their parents, maybe because when the water came they got eaten by a shark, I pray that they will not be scared or alone. I pray for all the kids and all the parents and all the grandmas." As he prayed for those things, I was moved more genuinely for Japan and for the people who are suffering there than I have been thus far.

Every Day is fun

We have for sure hit a new stride. Not to say that my days are without struggle, but my life looks very different than it did one year ago, and VERY VERY different than it did two years ago. My feelings and my thoughts surrounding Isaac and Lily are overflowing with fun and enjoyment. Every day I just want to bottle up their cute voices, and all the funny things that they say. There is a sweetness and an innocence about them that is almost intoxicating. I am so often straddling the line of tightly grasping each moment and desperately trying to hold onto it in the realization that it is so fleeting and just living in the moment and enjoying it and loosely holding onto these days, weeks, months, and years.

My sister recently told me about a book called something like, "My daughter got swallowed by a princess." It's about a mom of a pre-school aged girl who is confused and perplexed by the ever increasing femininity pouring out of her daughter. Wow...can I relate. It is sweet and beautiful and pure and I don't really know what to do with it. I have no memory of a princess obsession. I have never been especially fond of the color pink. I am now 31 years old and have acquired minimal jewelry, but have never been that excited about it. I have a two-year-old little princess flying all over the house covered in pink polka dots from head to tow. She is enthralled with any kind of jewelry, love to wear high heel princess shoes all over the house, and the other day when I put on my sweater lily remarked, "That looks cute on you mommy." I looked at her dumbfounded. I love that this stage really seems to be a genuine expression of who she is. I love her passion for pink polka dots and clothes and princesses.

A few days ago lily was spinning around the living room. (one reason why I am so glad that I have a little girl - I have yet to see Isaac spinning through the living room). And I look at her and I say, "Lily, you are just so cute. I can't handle it!" Isaac looks over at her and he says, "I can handle it." Then he proceeds to run over and tackle lily to the ground. Then I hear him yell up to me from the floor, "I handled it." Dan and I were quite amused.

This is just such a small picture into the richness of each and every day. These children are such a gift. Such a joy. Such a grace in my life.

One more note. Dan and I have been intrigued by Isaacs spiritual ponderings. He asks some really good questions and seems like he always has this backdrop in his mind for a spiritual understanding to life. He has been especially interested in death and heaven. He asks tons of questions about heaven, and who is going to be there, and what it will be like, etc. He reiterates a lot of things we have told him about heaven or about Jesus on a regular basis. Tonight after dinner I was leaving for the grocery store and he runs to the back door and says, "Mommy, I love you. I love you so much. But, Jesus loves you way more!". This morning as we were rushing out the door to church, my patience was wearing thin. Later I apologized to Isaac for my grumpiness. He said, "I forgive you mommy. You aren't a perfect mommy, but Jesus is a perfect mommy." And then tonight at dinner something happened and I can't remember exactly what it was, but it prompted Isaac to say, "Daddy, you are a bad guy, but Jesus is making you into a good guy. And mommy, you are a bad girl, but Jesus is making you into a good girl." In each of those moments I am just shocked. I didn't think that a three year old could grasp, comprehend, or really care about these things. But Isaac is very engaged, and I am thankful and humbled.