Happy 5th Birthday Isaac

Happy Birthday Isaac!

Dear Isaac,

Five years ago today I met you for the first time.  From that day until today I have been surprised over and over by how much love I could feel when I look at you.  When the doctors put you in my arms, my cheeks actually started to cramp from smiling.  When I go into your room at night and see you sleeping, or watch you focus so intently as you build another amazing tower, or when I see you grabbing Lily’s hand as you head into a new group together; I am struck all over again by the beauty of who you are and who you are becoming.

Five years ago today, I couldn’t imagine a little boy named Isaac Orr.  I couldn’t imagine a blonde floppy haired boy that would make laugh at his witty little comments.  I couldn’t imagine a boy with such a sensitive and tender heart but the spirit of a warrior.  I couldn’t imagine your lanky arms and legs running down the street.  I couldn’t  imagine your little charming way and how you would make people smile.  I couldn’t imagine the way that you would love and take care of your little sister. 

Five years ago today, I held my first baby in my arms.  I stared at you for hours and hours.  I had never felt the kind of love in my heart that I felt when I looked at your sweet little face.  I can’t believe that it has been five years.  It’s hard to imagine life without you.  You are truly a gift from God; one of the greatest gifts I have ever been given.  I celebrate you today my son, Isaac Daniel Orr.  I thank God for making you and for blessing my life with you.  I rejoice in who you are my son.  I love you!

Love - Mommy

Isaac ate my cookie

I have to tell the story of one of my sweetest moments with Isaac thus far. It happened last night and I know that if I don't write it down I'll forget it. We had gotten home from Panera and he had a piece of cookie left in a bag. I told him that he could eat that one piece and no more (I also had a piece of cookie left). A few minutes later he came into the kitchen holding the empty cookie bag with a sneaky little grin on his face. I looked at him and said, "Isaac, that was not right you should not have done that". And he asked, "did I lie?" I said, "no you did not lie, you stole." "What did I steal," he asked? I said, "you stole that other piece of cookie." He asked whose it was. And I told him that he stole my last piece of cookie. (In my heart I was not angry at all, I just wanted him to understand that he should come and ask first and he should not just take something that he was told not to take). So he walked away. About five mintues later I heard a little voice calling from the next room. "I'm sorry I took your cookie." I walked around the corner. "What did you say?". He was peaking up from behind the couch with a sad little face and said again, "I'm sorry that I ate your cookie." I could tell that he was truely upset. I pulled him onto my lap and and I told him that I forgive him, and that God forgives him. I said that he does not need to feel guilty anymore. It's OK. And as I told him how much I love him, tears were just streaming out of his sweet eyes and crashing down onto his shoulders. My heart was just overflowing with love for this sweet boy.

As I told the story to Dan last night it became clear how beautiful and redemptive true confession is. How much more does our heavenly father want to hold us in his lap and tell us that it is OK. We don't need to feel guilty anymore. We don't need to hide. We are forgiven and we are loved. I hope that I will approach my heavenly father as Isaac approached me last night and that I will let him grab me up onto his lap and dry my tears and console my heart. Thank you Isaac for this beautiful story.

Lily's Birthday Party

Our sweet Lily Belle turned three exactly a week ago. We were actually on the road on the way back to Nashville from Chicago on her actual birthday. And thus far in her life, she has had more birthdays waking up at the Davidson's house, than she has at her own house (2 at the Davidsons, 1 at home). It's hard to believe that our precious little girl came into the world three whole years ago!! What an enormous blessing she has been to Dan, myself, and Isaac. We all love her so dearly.

Last night we got celebrate lily at her birthday party with all her Nashville friends. One super sweet story about her birthday party. We had been planning on having her party at the park just down the street from our house. Dan was sent out to the grocery store just an hour before the party. He called me to let me know that there were already two big parties going on at the park. So, we had to do a super quick change of plans. As quick as we could we cleaned the house and got ready for the party to be here. As we were in the midst of getting everything ready and running around lily walked up to me with the biggest tears in her eyes, and fighting back the sobs, and says with a big frowny face "mommy, no one is going to come to my party now." And huge tears started rolling down her face. I grabbed her up into my arms and tried to explain that Dan and I had called all her friends and told them to come to our house instead of the park. I told her not to be sad, and that we would have a fun party at the house. And these huge tears kept streaming down her face. In her mind, we had canceled the party, and all her friends were going to the park. As soon as she realized they were coming to our house, she was happy again and had a super fun time!! It was such a sweet moment.

First Day of School

All summer long, every time that we pass St. Georges (where the kids to go school) I would hear, "MOM...how much longer till school starts???" It was so sweet to know that they were excited to start school. Isaac was returning this year and lily was starting her first year. We are so glad that Lily gets to have Isaac's teachers from last year.

Isaac's first day was Wednesday. The day was dedicated to "Isaac's first day of school." He got to pick any breakfast and so he choose crepes, and I think that he ate between 12 and 15 crepes. First day of school appetite I guess. When we walked in the school, I was prepared for tears and anxiety, but he walked right into his class and seemed so happy to be back. After school I asked how it went and he said, "Me, Boyd, and Porter played super-heros on the playground. I was ironman, Boyd was batman, and Porter was spider man. " In four year old little boy language that means....success.

Today was Lily's first day. This morning she was sad, saying that she didn't want to go to school. So, I said, OK...then you don't have to go, to which she replied...I WANT TO GO!!! Lily also got to pick whatever breakfast she wanted, and she also chose crepes :) Luckily I made extra yesterday and froze some. :) She was nervous when we got there but also very proud of herself. She wouldn't let me hold her or her school bag. When I picked her up, I asked how the day went, and she said, "I didn't cry, and I didn't have an accident." In 2 1/2 little girl language that means....success.

This morning at around 9:02 am I walked out of Lily's classroom alone. I walked down the hall of the school and got in my car alone. I felt tears in the back of my throat. It's funny that just about four years ago I didn't know what it would feel like to have a child, and today I can barely remember the feeling of not having them. As I ran my errands this morning, feeling sad, and looking at the other moms with kids in their carts, I was reminding myself that there was a time that I used to do everything without little buddies.

I think that one of the funny things about life, is how things are just always changing. It's exciting that the kids are getting older. it's exciting to see them figuring out things on their own and becoming more independent. And, I've been so looking forward to the idea of having some time on my own...but there's also a sorrow and a loss in the passing of time. A sadness that we all are moving on and changing. They will never be babies again. They will never need me again as they did in those first months and years. I am thankful for those first months and year, and I am thankful for my beautiful Isaac and Lily today. What precious gifts they are!!

football and movie night

It's so hard for me to imagine that just four years ago I didn't know two little people named Isaac and Lily. What a funny and sweet two little people they are.

Last night all four of us went to the TN Titans practice. Our friend Pete Ittersagen is on the team, which made it extra fun!! Before the game I made some "home made" Ittersagen jerseys for Dan and the kids. Just to note; even past 6:30 pm, it is nasty hot and humid here in middle tennessee.

We have started a new tradition in the Orr house this summer. It is called "movie night". It happens every friday. We eat pizza (that dan makes), we all drink coke, we have wrestle-mania (where jumping off the couch is allowed), and then we take turns picking the movie for the week. Each week I am surprised at how excited the kids get for movie night. The beauty of childhood :) (below is a pic from this last movie night...just before we all watched Tinker bell...lily's choice.)

One prayer that I have had for Isaac and Lily is that they will love each other as more than siblings, that they will love each other as friends. It was such a gift for me to grow up with a sister who was also my best friend. I'm sure it's too early to tell if God will answer my prayer, but from what I can see already, I am very thankful. Isaac and lily love hanging out all day, every day. They don't just play together in the same place, they are always interacting and creating forts and hide outs. They build things together and take care of lily's babies together, and play petshop together. Of course they squabble like all siblings, but they truly enjoy the other. One of my favorite things is when Lily calls Isaac her big brother. Like, "mommy, where's my big brother? I need him." And I also love that Lily calls Isaac "I-Z". A nick name that she created all on her own. So sweet. She ALWAYS calls him that.

moments

There are moments when I really miss having a baby to hold, or when I think back to Isaac or lily being curled up in my arms and I feel sad. But, mostly, I just LOVE the age that they are today. I love interacting with them as little people, who can do so many things on their own, and who say the funniest, sweetest, most interesting things. Every day they make me laugh and smile and say to myself, how in the world did I ever get these two precious people. I know that most days come and go without me taking note of all the wonderful things that they say and do, but lately it has just been too good not to write down. Here are some favorites:

1. A couple days ago Dan came home from work and he was sitting outside with Isaac. Dan asked Isaac, “how was your day?”. Isaac thinks for a moment and then replies, “It was a struggle.” A little bewildered, Dan looks at him and says, “It was a struggle??”. Isaac says, “yeah, it was a struggle, because when we were in the fabric store today Lily was really misbehaving.”

2. A few months back Dan bought Isaac a Derrick Rose, Chicago Bulls jersey. It was kind of a pricey item for a 3 year old. Well, as it turns out Isaac will NOT wear it. We have tried everything to get him to wear it. The other night at dinner a friend of ours was over and was telling Isaac how much he LOVES basketball jerseys and how cool it is to wear them. Isaac takes a long pause and says, “Josh, I do not appreciate that comment.” Then another pause and says, “I do not appreciate basketball jerseys.”

3. The kids have gotten into this phase where they are always asking Dan and I (and babysitters) to tell them stories about when we were little. It’s mostly cute, but sometimes taxing. Anyway, tonight I was laying down with Lily and after I told her a story she said that she wanted to tell me a story. Here is her story, “I was in your belly, and then I fell out, and then a big scary monkey came and got me (at this point I giggled a little and she looked at me and said, Mommy…DON’T LAUGH!), and so the big monkey came and got me, and then I found a big Daddy cookie, and I ate it, and then I got sick, and then I came home.”

4. Tonight we were driving in the car and Isaac said that he saw a super big house. So I asked him, “When you get older, do you want to live in a small house or a super big house?” He paused for quite awhile…I wondered if he forgot the question, then he answered, “I want to live in a medium house.” And I said, “what is a medium house like?” And he said, “just like the house that we live in now. Accept I don’t think that I will live in Nashville, I would like to live in the house next to our blue house in Wheaton.”

5. The other day I was asking the kids if they would like it if we had another baby. And they enthusiastically said that they would, and that they would be my helpers. Lily said that she would like to give the baby a bath and put “her” jammies on. Isaac said that he would feed the baby milk, and give the baby toys, and that if “she” got sad that he would always sing “her” a song.

What a sweet sweet gift it is for me to enjoy these moments.

thankful

Life is always changing; never staying the same. I am acutely aware of the as I feel like I am seeing these two little ones growing up before my eyes. Since I last wrote over two months have gone by!! YIKES!! Times is just running away from me.

Below are some favorite every day shots of Isaac and Lily. I am so thankful for their beautiful lives :)